A moment to take your breath

For Marcus.


Breathe. Let's take it back to the start.

We were just kids, grew up on different sides of the coast but I'd like to hope/ You had mountains to climb and stories to live/ When we could be whoever we want to be/ And believe it, that we'd see it/ Not knowing one day we'd leave it/ All these places unseen, all these things undone/ Does it drive you dumb? Can't even move my tongue enough to say the words I wish you'd heard before you were gone/ To fast. A moment, a flash, a spark/ They say its in the past but it hits me in the present. In this space, this time I feel your absence like a knife into my eyes/ The lights gone out, blinded like the one small kindness it was to see/ To believe, to dream

And I can't even speak, the words just repeat/ Inside my mind like a tide sweeping forward and then back/ My every thought a sea, a storm, a shipwreck/ And I'm sunk like a slam dunk to the bottom of the ocean floor/ What we were is now no more/ And every day I'm waiting for the pain to stall/ To not feel at all cos to feel's to fall/ And all I ever do is falling/ Not walking but crawling, not talking but calling

Out for a rescue from this place/ God, if you had a face would you show it? Would you let it be known,  all our tears are sown by your hands that we might reap in JOY/ Far beyond pain's worst ploys we have a hope of meeting once again/ Oh but to skip to the end and not have my heart rend like it does right now/ As I'm found lost yet still looking/ For something to bookend this so it makes sense while its senseless/ Peace while I'm restless/ And light for those heavy of heart.

Breathe. Let's take it back to the start.


J.


Works which inspired my words: 
Psalm 126:5
Blindsided by Bon Iver
Everything about your life